Tuesday, March 24, 2009
The Asylum
Ladies and gentlemen the validity of movies are at stake. In today's world the summer blockbuster is one of a studios biggest source of revenue. Recently a small independent movie company has decided to compete with major companies for prophets, while the face impossible odds and are sure to fail their methods endanger all big budget films. The Asylum fist came to the public light around the time of Steven Spielburg's film War of the Worlds. shortly before the films release the Asylum released their own straight to DVD abomination, generally considered a terrible movie. This film was followed by the Da Vinci Treasure and infamously Snakes on a Train. Not only do these "mockbusters" clearly rip off the titles of popular films, but they are flat out terrible. The Asylum was brought back into the spotlight with their epic disaster Transmorphers (coincidentally released before Transformers). This movie sported some of the worst acting and special effects ever in a film after the year 2000. You know they are scraping the bottom of the barrel when they created Sunday School Musical, High school musical is bad enough! One of the most shocking aspects of their rise to notoriety is the fact that Blockbuster actually orders these films and displays them prominently in New Releases (If you don't believe me go to Blockbuster and look for The Day The Earth Stopped) Even sadder is the fact they actually make money! This begs the question "Is Blockbuster stupid if they make money?" Absolutely not! The people who rent these films, allow the Asylum to continue butchering films. We know most of these films will not go down as classics, but that gives no studio the right to rip them off, and make some of them even worse. Take AVH: Alien vs. Hunter for example. Alien vs. Predator Requiem was an OK movie enough blood and gore to satisfy, and a sufficient lack of plot to bore, but AVH? THE TITTLE ISN"T EVEN CREATIVE!!! How bout the Asylum's smash flop The 18 Year Old Virgin (are they even trying anymore?) There are many more that I do not want to waste my time listing. It is my firm belief that the Asylum be stopped at all costs!
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Well, I'm not sure if this is an Asylum production, but my favorite of these type of movies has to be the Gingerdead Man and the Gingerdead Man 2: The Passion of the Crust, both of which were available at Blockbuster on DVD, one of which starred the incredible Gary Busey. Clearly, these movies are ridiculous but if they make money then I don't blame the company for making them. I, however, am not a fan of these movies but I do find the titles to be rather funny. Would you like to start a revolution against stupidity in this country Rob?... Cause that will take a long time to accomplish.
ReplyDeleteI would most vertainly not live to see it won
ReplyDeleteA Big Armadillo on this one, old friend. But, thanks for a well written post.
ReplyDelete